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Hi'- My husband and i are expecting our 3rd child in march - totally unplanned and financially a bit of a disaster - we have a house with a big mortgage which we created for ourselves - we borrowed money to do up our house and to surive being at home with the two kids for 10 months - i went back to work part time - all the plans were to sell the house and make our money and be more comfortable - however the work on the house has not happened and with the cost of daycare with 2 kids the money i bring home now is just enought to cover the groceries and bills. my husbands wage pays the daycare and mortgage and then its all gone. no overtime hardly all year and we have struggled - now i've told him we need to sell and find something cheaper but i dont think it gets it - i'm waking up freaking out and crying some mornings in the fear of not being able to cover the mortgage. i've got no one that can look after the kids so that i can work to get things sorted - i just don't know what to do - hubby wants to do more work on the house to get more buyer interest as it is a house that still needs a lot of work but all i can see is a disaster and all i want is to sell and get out and find something we can afford. i can't afford to buy myself clothing - kids come first - i look around at the 2nd hand shops - so i don't lead a lavish lifesytle with working and shoes well i need new shoes but just can't afford any.
has anyone else been in this situwation and what did you do. i do find it hard as i work with a bunch of girls at a different stage of life to me - all in their 40's and they all seem to be able to afford what ever they want - trips away, good holidays, clothes etc. i feel like just looking good is to expensive.
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Monday, 28 December 2009 1:09 a.m.
Monday, 28 December 2009 9:48 p.m.
He sounds like my DH. No idea of a real day to day budget. He wants to sell our house and buy a really expensive house in a better area. It took me to sit down one evening with pen and paper and show him our budget. He doesn't fully understand but understands better and now know what out budget is for a new house. he certainly doesn't fully understand as he told me yesterday that we should put $500 a week in out savings account to save up for a new car. WTF?! Where on earth had he planned to find $500 A WEEK from?
Of course sex is the last thing on your mind with this weighing heavily on you. Maybe spend a eveing putting together your budget. Discuss how you (as in BOTH of you) are going to cope. Focus on how you are going to make it work as a team. Try and come to some mutually agreeable solutions. If DH is co-operative try some positive reinforcement - jump his bones!
Monday, 28 December 2009 5:59 a.m.
Maybe get your hubby to read this? Or just try explain to him just how much it is stressing you out. That's definately not something you need while you are pregnant and if he doesn't listen or care about that then there's not alot of options left after that...
Monday, 28 December 2009 1:11 a.m.
ps - i also think our sex life - lack of is suffering due to my fear - i have absoloutly no interest in it at all and hubby feels i don't love him enough. i do love him but i think all the above stress is not helping.
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