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Home » community » forum » Trying for a baby »

Adoption

What would you like to talk about?

My husband and I after trying for such a long time have decided to adopt we have just start the process and was just wandering if there was anyone else out there who has been through the process and can offer up any advise ect any comments welcome.

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gurtie_3
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Thursday, 13 January 2011 8:21 a.m.

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  • Wednesday, 23 March 2011 6:28 a.m.

    Hi all,
    we have two adopted children.  Without retyping out our story check my profile tis all there!!!  Any other questions I am happy to answer.
    Angela :)

    Angela adopts
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  • Tuesday, 15 March 2011 6:51 a.m.

    i have an amazing book i read- Love Has No Borders, about inter country adoption if anyone is interested.

    am11
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  • Saturday, 19 February 2011 5:46 a.m.

    thanks for all the info, am looking forward to attending the info night myself and hearing about different storeis of open adoption.  It is all about the child :o)
    Wishing you the very best in your journey :o)

    Benji
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  • Thursday, 17 February 2011 8:25 p.m.

    Just been to our first information day yesterday.  It was alot to take in and the first day was more aimed at the fostering side of it but they did go into adoption at the end.  They give alot of reasons for why the country now tends to only do open adoptions and they are pretty good ones but she did say its up to the birth parents as to how open or closed it is.  It was said that if they can sit everyone down together and talk about what each side wants out of the aggrement so that everyones happy.  Open adoption does sound scary but i think its really just making sure that all the information is avalible if and when the child finds out or wants to know more.  They are not going to force you to tell your child they do say that 90% of child who are adopted know theres something not quite right anyway.  So in the end it should be there choice as to what they do and dont want to know.  If you have any more questions feel free to ask

    gurtie_3
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  • Thursday, 17 February 2011 3:43 a.m.

    Yeah I agree.  In a perfect world the biological and adoptive parents that didn't want contact would be matched together so that everyone was happy.  I just wish there were more babies up for adoption.  We would adopt rather than have any more of our own if there were more, but I wouldn't want to take a baby that would have gone to a family that couldn't have any of there own IYKWIM.
     
    Wishing you lovely ladies all the best with your adoption journies and hoping that you all get your babies in the not too distant future :)

    luvbeingmummy
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  • Wednesday, 16 February 2011 9:52 a.m.

    luvbeingmummy, thanks for your reply.  I have watched those shows from the beginning and agree Catelyyn and Tyler did the very best thing for their child.  It has shown me how hard it must be to give your child up.  It seems that their open adoption has limited contact, which in my personal opinion wouldn't be soo bad, but I would struggle with anything more.  Being adopted I have always known my birth mother just wanted me to have a better life with two parents and my parents were forever grateful for the gift they received.  I think coming from a background where there has been no contact (even now at my own choice) I believe it should be to the child to make the decision and the adoptive parents to support that decision.  I think if you can find birth parents and adoptive parents who want a relationship them itsa great, but what about the people either birth or adoptive that dont want that, it doesnt make them less of a suitable candidate in my opinion.  I am looking forward to going to the info night and hearing about open adoption stories.

    Benji
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  • Tuesday, 15 February 2011 10:08 a.m.

    Benji - watching "16 and Pregnant" and "teen mom" and "teen mom 2" have really opened my mind in relation to open adoption.  There is a really cute couple called Catelynn and Tyler on their who give their baby up for adoption.  The couple who adopts her weren't really keen on an open adoption to start with but they come around and it is such a lovely relationship.  I guess we always think that a mother who puts her baby up for adoption doesn't really love that baby but these guys love their baby sooooo much.  They want the best for her and they can't provide anything being so young and coming from broken homes.  It's just lovely to watch.  It's on MTV - they replay it often.  You might be about to get some of the episodes off you tube if you don't have sky.

    luvbeingmummy
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  • Tuesday, 15 February 2011 9:37 a.m.

    Hi, I would be interested to hear a little bit about the info evening, I have registered to attend one next month.  I am up in the air about it all as I am a bit apprehensive in regards to an open adoption arrangement and was told that if we werent open to it we wouldnt be put on the list.  All a bit ovwer my head since I come from a happy 'closed adoption' background.
    Any info would be grateful and are you procedding with this avenue?

    Benji
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  • Monday, 24 January 2011 4:41 a.m.

    Hi sorry for the delay the meeting went well. For adoption in new zealand compared to another country is a much shorter and and less costly they didnt go into excact cost however.    To me it looks like its going to be a long process we are going with adoption in nz we recieved an information pack which contains a police check medical check and asking for basic information and two referees.  Once all thats completed you have to go to two training days our first one is in febuary and the second in march.  Once we have been approved we get to create a profile about ourselves and our family ect.  It is then given to birth families along with 6 to 8 other profiles that they choose from.  The woman said that last year she had 9 babies up for addoption and only ended up placing 2 because the mothers decided to keep their babies so the chances of getting a baby this way can be very slim but its worth a shot.

    gurtie_3
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  • Thursday, 20 January 2011 7:59 a.m.

    yea how did the meeting go? we are waiting to hear about attending one of them also, want to look at all avenues in order to get our bubba!!!

    hoping4bubs
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