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PLEASE HELP!

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Hi all

DS2 is 9 weeks old. Unfortunately we were unable to continue with breastfeeding so at 2 weeks we went onto formula. So many people tell me he should be having about 6 bottles in a 24 hour period? But he tends to have more like 8 of 120mls which normally makes up just under 150mls. Is that too much?? And again so many people tell me he should be having bottles every 4 hours. But sometimes its more like 2-3 hours?

Also I am having so much trouble getting him to settle for his sleeps. He wants to be held to go to sleep but with DS1 being 2 and a half i just find that almost impossible to do! He sleeps ok at night, goes down about 7 and has a dreamfeed at 10.30 which goes through till about 3.30 or 4am but after that bottle he cries in his bed for about half an hour or so. And i just don't know what to do anymore! I also worry that he only sleeps one sleep cycle sometimes in the day and those wonderful "helpful" people tell me to try and resettle him so he wakes in time for his next bottle. BUT i just think that if he is awake and not tired or grizzly then surely its ok to get him up? Also i was told that if he doesn't sleep in the day then later on he will wake in the night more etc..... 
So to cut that whole long story short.... should i wait until he is 12 weeks old to worry about trying to get him into a routine? or should we be doing it now? and do you think its ok for him to be rocked or held to go to sleep still or should i stop that too?

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Tuesday, 10 July 2012 7:22 a.m.

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  • Thursday, 12 July 2012 12:50 a.m.

    absolutely it's ok for babies to be rocked or cuddled to sleep. Can you think of anything more natural or normal?

    Do you have a sling or baby carrier? If he's not settling to sleep well during the day try carrying him around with you while you do your normal things. He just might sleep longer cuddled up with mum. You could also bring his bed into the living area, he might settle better and sleep longer if he's able to hear you and the normal daily noises.

    A routine is not a necessity. Some people thrive on them, for others they're an inconvenience. So it's totally up to you and baby as to whether a routine will work for you or not. As baby gets older you'll notice a rhythm to your day and probably settle into a fairly regular pattern of waking and sleeping. I hated watching the clock so we never had a strict routine. The exception is making sure they're not up for too long as they get harder to settle to sleep when they're overtired. But even then I'd watch baby rather than the clock.

    I'd suggest you talk to your gp about the formula. There are very good reasons that they put a maximum amount and number of feeds on the can. Formula puts a load on the digestive system that babies aren't really designed to have. It leaves a lot of waste to be processed out so they really need the time between feeds and feeding too frequently is very hard on their kidneys.

    ekubo
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  • Wednesday, 11 July 2012 12:01 p.m.

    DS woke after one sleep cycle since about this age i tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep longer but he just didnt, so i gave up and we were both much happier for it :) Now that hes dropping to two sleeps a day he will sleep for a little bit longer and im guessing that will get better as he drops to one sleep. Hes happy as so im not worried about! He aslo use to wake up at 4am like you say if he cryed going back down i would just lye him down next to me in bed in the dark (cause i cant leave him to cry) so he had me there but learnt that it was night time not play time at the sam time if that makes sence..lol also using the pram during the day was a lifesaver for me!!

     Im not sure about bottles but if hes hungry i cant imagine anyone will tell you to starve him?? You could try to distarct him to drag it out a little longer but if hes hungry hes hungry!!! Do what works for you

    All3y
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  • Tuesday, 10 July 2012 9:07 a.m.

    Congratulations on your baby :) Those first few months can be so stressful though. I worried about the same things as you, and I'm not sure what others think but the best thing I found was to stop listening to the "helpful people".  

    We stopped looking at the clock, and my anxiety lessened.  If she was hungry then we fed her, if she was tired then we would try and settle her for a sleep.  Going for a walk helped if she couldn't settle.  If she was wide awake and happy then we kept her up.  She has never been much of a day sleeper, even when she was very young, and I worried about it, but she has slept through the night from about 5 months.  We would rock and cuddle her to sleep overnight after her feeds, and she does self-settle now. We found that if she had finished her bottle after a night feed and couldn't settle that she was often still hungry, and needed more.  I figured that if she was on the breast alone she would drink as much as she needed, so why would the bottle be different.

    We didn't actively try and establish a routine (it didn't really occur to us to try), she just sort of found her own pattern and we have gone with it, tweaking it a bit here and there as she got older.  It could be a different story if you have an older child though, and everyone's circumstances and babies are different.  Trust yourself, and go with what feels right for you and your family.  Sorry for the novel, best of luck :)

    Kate79
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  • Tuesday, 10 July 2012 9:01 a.m.

    All babys are different and wont always fit the "mold" so I would say go with what works for you and your baby. I found a sling (like a moby wrap) was fantastic as I also had a baby that liked to sleep being held and that way I could get other stuff done and he was happy as . Good luck : )

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  • Tuesday, 10 July 2012 8:34 a.m.

    Do what works for you and your child. Everyone has something to say and the 'advice' isn't always helpful. I feed DS when he's hungry, he sleeps when hes tired and sleeps 8pm-7am every night (he is 5 months though). We never had a routine and we're doing just fine.

    Trust your instincts =)

    rihrih6907
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